WhY??

been a mth since i last posted, oh no... its more. haha... exam's coming up in another 2 weeks... so swt le... neway, looking forward to the holidays...

back to topic.. i hv been asking myself for a while nw, y do i always give in? u r nt a child, n yet i hv to.. its nt tht i m complaining, bt its one time too many. to u is it always my fault or is ur ego too big? i knw u tolerate with me s well, bt then who is tolerating more? every it always ends up in a misunderstanding on ur part n i hv to do the crawling back to pujuk u... i m tired... very tired... i really dunno hw long i can keep this up... i also want u to pujuk me... u say u do pujuk me bt then, sometimes i really dun c it lorr.. even if u do pujuk also after a while u will get angry n i hv to do it in return... n u really can drag it for a while... when u dun let me do so... at times i jus feel like giving up n nt looking back, cuz i m so tired... bt i can't cuz i knw i won't b able to let go at all... i love n treasure it too much to jus let go.. bt the feeling is so heavy, tht i start to wonder that forbidden thought of leaving.

frm ever since i cud remember, i hv been putting on a mask, except to a certain group of people who r close to me that i actually tell them wht's in my heart. i found u n i tot that i can finally take off tht horrid piece and b true to myself with u. tht's all i ever wanted.. bt i can't, i end up putting that back on to please u. anyway, it hs been on for more than 10 yrs, wht's another 50 yrs with u rite? all i wish is to please u n make u happy... then i'll be happy... i dun mind, n i dun care s long s i can b with u..

私は全然考えるか、または感じているであるもの知らない。 時々私は私が読んでもいいことを望む。 しかし私はできない。 私は私の中心がとこれ痛むこと非常に愛する。 私はまたあなたを私を時々甘やかしたい。 私はそれが取る限りあなたとのためのありたいと思う。 それは私がを望むすべてである。