me wonder

here i m again, another boring and lonely Friday night listening to my mp3. some claim that my collection of mp3's are weird cuz they consist of Jap, Korean, Chinese n English songs. can say a nicely rojak-ed list. haha. anyway at this hour (11pm) i'll b killed if i turn up my speakers. needles to say i set the bass to maxsimum. *evil grin*

the class of DIBA 03/2007 is going to end soon. in April we take our exams then its time for us to walk our paths. whether or not our paths will cross in the future we will never know. altho i'll rather not cross paths with a selected few special ones. haha. some will choose to go to the working world and some will choose to continue. as for me, there's only one option i guess, i'll b packed off to our KD campus to further my studies.

honestly, the main prize there is not to further my studies. the main prize is.... hahahaha... can u guyz guess?? i m sure my Dearest Chan and Shubat can guess. only one word.. FREEDOM! go out when i want, come back when i want, eat wht i want, sleep when i want, get up when i want... no more asking for permission like a 12yearold. those stupid !@#$ days are goin to b over soon.

the consolation is always the Bon Odori Festival in July. this year will on 12th july 2009.
i heard there is goin to b 2 dances and 1 of it will be Soran Bushi. =.=" its some sort of fishermen dance but i call it the backaching dance. seriously causes back ache. =.=" before this i seriously thought of not joining the festival this year cuz Chan says that he wants to go jln jln during the festival. altho i am letting my self down for not joining (the festival has grown on me tho). he seriously wants to work in the service industry bt he claims as a see how n such. o well, what is the use of me sacrificing the festival for a reason that is so uncertain as that. to me, that festival is considered important. it has some special significance for me. i really dun want to go to the festival alone. anyway, I am a Bon Odori Dancer. a fact i can't deny. anyway, practice starts in May.

well, honestly i can't help worrying. i talk about it to him he'll say i dun understand. wht abt him understand me instead? "dun care la, as long as i bring back alot of money to feed you" what's with that sentence anyway. what are you trying to say? i tamak your money isit? or isit that i am that materialistic?? do you think that i will actually be happy if you bring back lots of money but you are always not around?? who am i goin to spend it with? the cat? how much can i spend on myself?

at times its like you dun care as long as you get to do the job that you like. you dun care at all what happens to me. to you i can go n die for all you care. i am begging you, think abt me as well.

most of my life i was always alone. i really dun want to spend the rest of it alone.