BORING!! isn't it always the same??

sighh..... i m so bored... really feel like blasting my speakers bt wht gud will come out of there? a cuff around the head i guess.. sighhh.. ntg much tht i can really do at home.. err home?? yeah parents are around so i shall call it a home, bt then it doesn't sound rite... to me its nt a home... its a hse. i onli visit other parts of the hse when they r asleep so i can do wht i desire without much questions asked... i have always preferred to be alone at home than home with them, as oh well, same theory applies... no questions asked... no annoying knocks on the door with the ever famous statemement of ,"wht are you doin inside"? or "y r u up at this hr (4am), very unhealthy u knw"? >.< ... =.= i hv at tht very moment wud love to scream, LEAVE ME ALONE!! is it wrong to wake up at tht hr? disturbing u? annoying u? if i m nt, then might s well LEAVE ME ALONE!! lucky frens who do NOT experience these things tell me that its parents concern... *snort* plz spare me that sentence... my room is my santuary.. my onli place of peace... no 1 can force me to do things that i dun like in there..

frens (oh well, some are nt my frens) laugh or critise, y some1 of my age hv no freedom? i used to hv a close frm when we studied together in Segi KL.. after i transferred back to Segi Subang, we used to go yum cha n she will fetch me.. there was a time when she didnt hv a car so she asked me to fetch her so we can go yum cha... i told her i couldn't cuz AS PER USUAL my dad wouldnt allow.. his theory was dangerous for a gal (me) to drive out alone n come back alone... wht abt her then? isn't she driving alone as well?? selfish tot on his part i guess.. well back to story... she asked me a quite a few times everytime also the answer is the same... conclusion, 2 things came out of tht, my dad lost his temper and i lost my close fren.. critism, laughter i m used to it... i'd like to c u come and live as me 4 a few months n c how u like it or hw u can stand it.. i'll give u a week - 3 weeks no more than tht... if u can live thro the weeks i'll congratulate u.. i hv living thro tht for years n all i can rant to is my blog... which will nvr answer me in return.. talking as if u knw things, when u pratically knw ntg... SO STOP CRAPPING!!

ppl's comment tht Subang residents are rich.. summore i m the onli kid... i hv no worries n free load... yes, i agree tht its nt all bad.. being under the parents wing n all... its nt like i didn't try to go to work... it took me 2 months or more to beg for my 1st part time job in Kumon.. after 2 weeks they stop me, cuz they didn't like the working hrs.. (nite class).. 1st few days on the job my dad waited until i finished work (6 hrs) outside the centre. cut story short... i hv nvr been allowed to do things on my own.. its nt like i preferrred to do ntg n free load, i wanna do things on my own, make my own decisions... i free load cuz i hv pratically no choice... i really admire Def.. doing things for herself which i can't... no need for the "please may i" or 'can i please'... its nt like i asked for this... who in their sane mind will ask for a life of hell... Yvonne hs chosen her own path of life... gud or bad.. last i heard, she is very happy nw... gud for her...

talking abt this, i think i have a post abt this b4 (can't remember tho) ever felt like u hv a plc where u always see family members or familiar faces bt u dun have a plc among them at all? call them family, bt they dun treat u as part of the family at all.. if u die, u die alone.. dun call upon them... in times of trouble they do not knw u at all.. in times of need, they scamper away from you like a leper.. the more down you are the more smug they are.. bt if u r better off then them, they will start gossiping n talking behind ur back.. a fren did mention b4, that all church
members are hypocrites... honestly i agree with him.. definately and seriously they are... angelic on the outside, satanic on the inside..

bt to my parents its a MUST to go to church... with ppl like that, where's the meaning? i dun c it anymore.. yes i knw, do duty n stuff... bt wht's the use? what's the reason of forcing myself to go there when even on federal highway (which is nt yet half way there) i m already sleepy.. go there my brain pratically switches to stanby mode... half hour later its switch off.. c'mon wht do u expect? church time is right smack in the middle of Saturday afternoon... my heart is always heavy when its saturday bt i love sundays.. aikido n bon odori dance class (for nw until 12th July)... sigh... church is nt like what it used to be... where i looked forward to go... at times i ask myself, go for what? wht's the use of going? honestly, since a long time ago, i hv always hated saturdays.. Saturdays always no meaning for me..

telling them abt church always hs a result of me being shouted at... wht's the use anyway... keeping n nt agreeing to anything is therefore the best... bt i hv made a decision.. forgive me, bt there will b a time where i will stop goin to church...